sheila j


 Scripture in James warns us that our tongues are destructive and we should be cautious of that. James 3:6 says, “And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself,” and James 3:8 says, “…but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.”

Once the words we speak leave our mouths, we can’t take them back, no ifs, ands, or buts. We’ve all experienced the ever-so trusty ‘foot-in-mouth disease’, and have then been tempted to grab at the air in an attempt to take our words from being heard. Unfortunately, it is far too late by that point.
Our words wield the power to build up, and likewise, the power to tear down. They also carry the power to bring glory to God, or the power to bring glory to ourselves. What category do your words fall under? It’s no challenge to us to barely even think about what we’re speaking, because we’re doing it so much. Think about the sheer amount of words that you say in twenty four hours. Think of the conversations with coworkers, strangers, loved ones, or even the words you speak to yourself. As you reflect, which words brought the attention to Him?
If I honestly ask myself, the answer to that question would be…not many. It seems in the course of a day I spend more time either making idle chat, complaining, or bringing others down. Jesus isn’t even in the equation.
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath,” James 1:19 writes. This brings light to the fact that sometimes we’re speaking in such great amounts, we fail to silence and listen to God–we neglect the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. I don’t know about you, but how do I have the audacity to do such a thing?
In Matthew 15:18 Jesus tells Peter that the words we speak come directly from the heart. A heart that is intertwined with the Lord in daily prayer and bible study is a heart that is less likely to use their gift of speech for sin. Indeed, mistakes will still be made as we’re still human beings, but we will be more conscious of what flows from our mouths.
Go to the Lord today, He is there. Ask Him to bring attention to what’s in your heart that is causing your words, and to give you a sense of attention and awareness for what we speak. Ask Him for understanding on when to be like James 1:19 and be slow to speak. Above all, thank God for always loving and staying beside you, even when you don’t do the same. 



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Woman are made from mans rib therefore there is a perfect match for everyone because God said so
“And the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.” 
Have you ever felt like if God doesn’t bring you your soulmate then you won’t be able to get married? God does have only one right person for you because without His Grace, there would not be any marriage in the first place. God reigns over all of mankind and all of creation. He even has control over what we do. But he doesn’t control us. He allows us to do what we want and later we will be held responsible for our actions. Yet he still reigns over all things. 
With all that being said, you don’t have to wait for God to hand you a husband. You have to pray for wisdom so that you can be able to choose the perfect partner. Meditate on His work and pray for understanding of His word and His views about marriage and what He designed married to be.  When our prayers for a husband are shaped by God’s words, we can pray confidently knowing that we are praying according to God’s will. It means you can ask God for the ability to discern the relationships His grace bring into your life. 
God knows everything and everyone even our thoughts and who we are supposed to be with. But He won’t hand you over the person you want. Therefore you can dare but according to the laws of the bible. 
“Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top hi, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.”  – Matthew Henry, An exposition of the old and new testament.



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How to find balance in your emotions
Between work, tasks, errands and chores that we accumulate during the day, it is easy for us to feel like we need to work 25 hours, seven days a week just to keep up. Everything on that instance becomes urgent and this may leave us overwhelmed therefore, it is important to have emotional balance because there is no end to the onslaught of modern life.

Being emotionally balanced means that you are allowing yourself to experience your feelings as they evolve bynot avoiding or suppressing them, also you are not being so attached to them and also not recognising that they are all-consuming. Emotional balance occurs when we allow ourselves to feel whatever comes up, without being overwhelmed by it, and learn to accept our feelings without judgment.
It is understandable that nobody wants to feel pain but avoiding it is not the answer. Our wishful thinking tells us that if we can just avoid the pain, it won’t affect us. Ironically, efforts to keep painful thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations at bay may work temporarily, at the end of the da, you have to deal with these challenges at some stageThe harder you work to avoid pain, the greater your suffering tends to be.
The following are several levels of awareness that might help you to cultivate your emotional balance.
1. Become consciously aware of the emotions you are experiencing. Although you may not understand or know what the feeling is, it is important to simply notice and acknowledge that you have some feeling.
2. Try to identify the particular emotion. Close your eyes, turn your focus inward, and allow yourself to experience that emotion in your body. Different emotions are typically experienced in different parts of the body. For example, anger might manifest as tightness in your neck and shoulders, sadness as an aching in your chest, fear as a knot in your stomach, and joy as warmth in your heart.
3. Put the emotion into words. “I’m feeling anxious.” “I’m feeling angry.” “I’m feeling sad.” Putting the emotions you experience into words by making these simple self-statements can create the space you can use to respond intentionally rather than react automatically and unconsciously.
Emotional balance can be achieved by practicing emotional regulation and distress tolerance. Emotional regulation relates to identifying the emotions that are being felt in the moment, and observing them without being overwhelmed by them. Emotional regulation skills include self-soothing activities that help to reduce emotional intensity and provide a calming effect, such as: meditation, intentional breathing, yoga, listening to music you enjoy, progressive muscle relaxation, taking a walk or a hike, reading something pleasurable or spiritual, singing a favourite song, exercising, visualizing a comforting/relaxing image, journaling, etc.
Emotions, especially powerful, disturbing ones, can seem as though they will last forever. However, whether they are positive and bring smiles to our face and laughter to our lips, or painful and bring hurt to our hearts and tears to our eyes, feelings are always temporary. They come and go. Sometimes they leave sooner than we would like; other times they stay way past the point when we want them to leave, but eventually they all leave.
Lastly we have to be prepared to let go of your attachments to any particular outcome so that you can be open to something bigger than you have ever imagined. Learn that to yield does not mean that you lose and be willing to compromise. Let life lead you down unexpected turns and you will discover magic in the most ordinary places.



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