dolce vita bags

MEMORIES

I remember the day when you said being with me meant that you would be happy. That you wanted to be selfish because you could not stand the thought of someone else being with me. What happened to that man that I fall in love with where did he go?  I question that everyday. You tell me it is because I accused you of things you were not doing that you did what you did eventually. How does that make it right? All of this time you gave me a reason to be how I was, not once did you apologize for it. Now that hurts, because  I really cared about you, and still do.

Do you 
remember when I said  I love you? I wasn’t lying. Remember when we used to talk for hours and tell each other everything? I miss that, I miss us but someone or something always seemed to be against us. Namely that oppa loppa…  It is sad because we really had something special but it just seemed like all I did was push you closer to her. You used to give me butterfiles in my tummy and  you still do. I would always try and place you in the friend zone and take you back out because I could not help myself. I could not wait until the next time I saw you. We always be on the phone and we always saw each other.



Maybe we do not get to be in each others lives, maybe we were unable to climb the enormous mountain together, maybe we don’t get a happily ever after. I would love to say all of this is true but the truth is i still love you and still want you. The truth is no matter how far away you are,  no matter what you might say or do my mind always finds a way to end up thinking about you.  Maybe you don’t need me anymore, one day you’ll wake up and realize that there is no one else in the world like me, that I’m one of a kind.

Hoping that you’ll want me back one day and maybe that day ill still need you. It’s like I have tired to say this over and over again to you but it just does not come out that way. You found someone else ok fine, I can not say that it does not hurt because lord knows that it does.  I will find a way to get over it just be honest with me that’s all I ask for. Do not give me false hope for something that I think might happen but will not happen.

I can at least say that at some point we shared something, and you felt the same way I did. Who knows maybe you still feel the same way.  
 But we will never know that now will we. 

Outfit Of The Day
Shoes Mandees

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Women’s Black Leather Coat, White Dress Shirt, Black Skater Skirt, Black Fringe Suede Ankle Boots on Lookastic: Black Leather Coat, White Dress Shirt, Black Skater Skirt, Black Fringe Suede Ankle Boots

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VOICE

Growing up I never was given the chance to speak my mind so I reverted to creative outlets to express myself. People made fun of me and told me I would never amount to anything. I was always told that I can be seen but never to be heard. Throughout all of this I was the one that was told I was wrong for what I was doing. So naturally now I apologize for everything I do even if I am doing something right.

The only place I have found that I feel like I am naturally able to be myself and not feel sorry is in front of the camera. I can not tell you how many times I usually get that you are a total complete other person. I do agree with this because I know how to channel different things at the right time and place. 
It is funny because when I got accepted to Penn State Altoona, my uncle asked me “how did you do that its a foot ball school is it not?” Well yes penn state is a foot ball school, however I busted my butt off to get into that school and i never actually ended up going at all. I was disappointed and let down that I did not know what to do.
I find that a lot of times what happens with me is inside of my head I know what I want and where I want to be and it most of the time it happens. However I notice that I ask for what it is that I want or ask for help from people that I know love and care about me so I let it go and don’t say anything.  I still get what I want but I don’t say anything. I know I have to speak up though and find my voice.
If I do not find my voice how can I minister to other woman or be an inspiration to others.
All essence there more people that are out there trying to find their voices 
If you do not find your voice and declare truth over your life, the people around you and in the places you already have influence, who will? What we need to  focus on is reclaiming or finding our voice to declare truth into our own lives, to our situations or the people and obstacles in front of us.
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” – Luke 16:10
Never stop dreaming and going after all that it is God has called you to and put in your heart. However, in the midst of the journey don’t forget where you are right now and how critical your voice is to the story being written in your life.The reality is that all around there are voices declaring all sorts of things and it isn’t always truth, what releases life, or gives hope. 

1. Declare the promises of God in your life and to the people around you.

We pray we plan we prepare we do!!!!!! 
Habakkuk 2:2 
2. Declare the Word of God.
…so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. – Isaiah 55:11
3. Pray in the Spirit.

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” – Romans 8:26-27
“For anyone who speaks in a tongue[a] does not speak to people but to God. Indeed, no one understands them; they utter mysteries by the Spirit.” – 1 Corinthians 14:2
4. Ask God for help.

In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears. – Psalm 18:6
5. Listen to what the voice of God is saying.

Romans 8:14, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” Conversely, this scripture implies that if we are God’s children, if we are born-again, we will be led by His Spirit.”


Outfit Of The Day
Jacket Byron Lars 
Hat H&M
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Women’s Charcoal Double Breasted Cardigan, Red Crew-neck Sweater, Light Blue Ripped Jeans, Beige Suede Ankle Boots on Lookastic: Charcoal Double Breasted Cardigan, Red Crew-neck Sweater, Light Blue Ripped Jeans, Beige Suede Ankle Boots

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